Another week has passed by and it’s another Friday with Smackdown. Possibly, the most anticipated moment for this show is Cody Rhodes as he had yet to respond to the events of the Elimination Chamber. That said, I didn’t find this Smackdown as offensive as the last few ones nor Raw (minus the CM Punk segment). I’m just thinking with Elimination Chamber out of the way, the writers can fully focus on the road to Wrestlemania. There were a few really good moments here and others that were the typical bland stuff turn me off to wrestling.
Randy Orton In Ring Promo
This was a long promo segment by Randy Orton to start the show off (meaning Randy was the heater). It went a little long for the content but effectively allowed Randy to say that he’s coming for Kevin Owens and that the voices in Randy’s head are back (meaning he’s ready to do violence). More than likely, we’ll see Randy and Owens in some shitty street fight because Owens sucks as a wrestler. With Zayn out (again taking a break?), he probably will show up at WM to cost Kevin Owens. If that happens, then I don’t know what they’ll do with Owens and Zayn because that EC match felt like it was done in terms of the two having another major match in the near future.
Tiffany Stratton vs. Piper Niven
Before this match there was a prerecorded segment with Chelsea, Piper and Tiffany. Chelsea gets more outrageous each time but it’s not clicking for me. Effectively, the segment is used to setup this match.
I have to be honest and say that this match wasn’t bad because Piper isn’t bad especially for her size. She has that Awesome Kong-like quality but hasn’t really been given a good moment to shine. Tiffany continues to make me fear for her because of how she looks to be on the border of receiving a paralyzing injury with her style. Also, I find Tiffany to be really limited as she’s mostly a flipper type and her offense gets repetitive quickly. She’s good on most of the execution but it won’t take her far if they expect her to carry opponents. She won after Niven missed a splash and Tiffany hit her moonsault. Thereafter, Charlotte assaults Tiffany with her Figure Eight. The worthless referees wouldn’t simply kick her hands out from under her to break the hold so fuck those refs.
I’m going to skip the tag stuff because it’s a mess and I don’t really care for anyone involved at this point. Not to mention they spent an inordinate amount of time trying to explain why it’s significant only to make me fast forward the ordeal.
Bianca and Naomi In Ring Segment
Okay, here’s the segment of the night. I had to watch this a few times to really absorb everything. And I liked it and hated it with varying degrees. I think if you view this segment as a TV segment (a la Days of Our Wrestling Lives), both ladies did a fantastic job. Both cried on cue and Bianca got really emotional. Naomi’s explanation for what was going on and revealing the truth was not egregious in that she had bottled up her pride and emotions for the sake of her friendship with Bianca over Jade. And when Naomi admitted that she was the complicit one, the crowd reacted perfectly.
Bianca left the ring as Naomi continued to plead with her but vented her frustrations until she mentioned how she wished she could’ve pushed Jade harder and sooner. Finally, Naomi called Bianca an ungrateful bitch. LMAO. I died laughing right there. But it got better because Jade pulled up right at that moment in a gas guzzler truck then power walked to the ring with that white with red blood stained outfit, gave one look to Bianca who was like, “Go ahead,” and went to the ring to give Naomi a second ass kicking. Now that part I really enjoyed. That easily was the highlight of the show for me. First, you had Naomi in that ridiculous blinged out neckbrace where she would occasionally touch her throat (then later forgot to sell once Jade stormed into the ring). Then she just took a great ass kicking from Jade who finished her off with her “Jaded” move as Naomi cries out, “Bianca!”
As purely TV entertainment, I got a fucking kick out of this thing. The crying and arguing became very cringe to me but the aftermath with Jade beating the shit out of Naomi was what I consider “good pro-wrestling”. Maybe that’s just me being cynical but I’ve always loved a good squash situation.
So I mentioned that this was also cringe and I didn’t care for it either. The beatdown itself I loved no matter what. Jade and Naomi are great in that. The cringe part was the crying and to a lesser degree the way they were arguing. Maybe it’s just me but the crying felt out of place given what they were going through. It was over the top where it felt more like they were given this chance to sell emotion (as per HHH’s thesis on what the WWE does) and they were trying to go for an Emmy nomination rather than sell a PPV. I think part of it is that the lead up to that moment didn’t make the crying feel earned and I interpreted their overacting more to be an audition for moving into actual acting. So that part felt insincere which is why I enjoyed the beatdown. The beatdown was like when Vader came out and beat the crap out of Santa Claus on one of those old ’97 Attitude Era Raws. That works because it turns the cringe into a redeemed moment for someone like me who just wants to see some violence in a pro-wrestling show.
Maybe the other thing where I wasn’t completely elated is that it’s Naomi. I’ve been mostly down on Naomi because her matches to be in all honesty stinkers. This certainly was a “once in a life time” type of performance in terms of the mic work from Naomi. I won’t take that away. And the way she received the beatdown was great. But I fear seeing the inevitable match. Jade has looked good during these beatdowns and Naomi took each one well. That part I think they have something good going. But if they’re given a long match, the execution can go sideways as opposed to a 2-3 minute near one sided squash, which could be energetic like this, keep the crowd invested and limit what both people can do rather than open it up to fuck ups. So I am interested to see where this thing will go but I want to temper my expectations outside of the beatdowns that Jade gives.
One thing I will say is that this three way situation reminds me of Randy Savage and Hogan when the Super Megapowers dissolved over Elizabeth. Jade is Hogan while Naomi is Savage and Bianca is the prize in between. The thing with Savage during that feud is that I think he was in the right because Hogan’s ego got in the way and it made me feel more sympathetic towards Savage. I’m guessing that with this trifecta, Bianca is going to get the women’s title at WM then Jade will challenge for it with Naomi returning and going, “See, I told you so about her!”
I don’t hate Naomi (just her matches) and truthfully Naomi does come off more sympathetic after she explained her position. But Jade is more like Sid right now back in the early 90s when he had all those squash matches against jobbers. And you have to love a Sid Vicious squash match in the early 90s with some microscopic, ill developer jobber that he could powerbomb to hell which is why I’m enjoying Jade right now.
Drew McIntyre Backstage Segment
Small segment with Drew justifying his actions and the behavior of Cena. I still think that Drew comes off as one of the most interesting heels in the WWE right now, if not the top one. Logan Paul is a real heel in that the crowd legitimately hates the guy. But Drew has found his final form.
Lex Luger Hall of Fame Announcement
This one is well deserved. I know Lex has a lot of criticisms going against him for a variety of reasons. He realizes it now and admits to it all. But I think with the recent work he’s been doing with DDP in trying to regain some mobility, Lex’s real value is his inspiration for others. Seeing someone who was effectively paralyzed and being able to stand once again is more than impressive. It really makes you believe a person can accomplish anything if they put themselves up to it.
Charlotte Flair Backstage Segment
Charlotte talks about her own terror towards Tiffany leading to Wrestlemania. She gets interrupted by B-Fab. The big line from Charlotte was talking about how the competition from the women’s division has slunk since she was gone and I have to agree. There’s a few bright spots coming up from NXT but when she addresses B-Fab, I can’t help but think Charlotte wasn’t being ironic towards her opponent for next week.
Braun Strowman vs. Solo Sikoa
Solo is really cooling off while Jacob Fatu is getting the big buzz. But I think it’s just that Solo’s matches haven’t lit anything up whereas Jacob has proven to get himself over in such a short amount of time. And again I can’t help but think Braun is the WWE’s version of Brian Cage just in terms of big guy with muscles that is awkward or can’t do much. There was a spot where Jacob launched himself into Braun and Braun failed to catch him. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Braun miss a spot like that. Braun won by DQ when Tama interfered that caused Jacob to come down to brawl with Braun. For whatever reason, once that brawl started up both Solo and Tama disappeared. Braun and Jacob go behind an area with equipment and a setup table so that Braun can deliver a bad chokeslam to Jacob onto the table. Jacob slowly gets back up and the announcers put over his toughness. A shame Jacob is wasted in this meaningless rivalry.
LA Knight Backstage Promo
Good standard promo from LA Knight. But nothing really out of the ordinary besides talking about patriotism in getting back the US title.
Chelsea Green w/ Piper Niven vs. Michin Street Fight for the US Title
Garbage match that I didn’t care about. The table spot got fucked when the leg collapsed on Chelsea. Michin shrugged it off twice and still went for a senton type of move. Michin almost got a pin when a ninja comes out to pull her out of the ring and fuck with her. The ninja unmasks to reveal Alba Fyre, tosses Michin back inside to deliver a Canadian Destroyer onto a chair for which the referee was impotent to do squat and allowing Chelsea to get the pin while making it official that Alba has joined Chelsea’s stupid secret hervice group. You know when you have no other plans for some useless person just toss them into a random terrible group especially after her partner got fired.
Cody Rhodes in Ring Promo
So this was the big thing for the night. To me, it fell flat. Cody mostly delivered everything well enough but compared to Punk’s promo, this one was dull and typical Cody. Heck, the Bianca/Naomi/Jade was far more intriguing than this. The only reason Cody was fired up is because he needs a solid heel to work against. Fortunately, the WWE has put out a ton of propaganda with those shitty interaction reaction videos to make Cena and the Rock look cooler (meaning to the WWE mark audience actual villains). In turn, Cody can deliver fired up lines that don’t really say anything interesting but work for that audience. The problem is that Cody just rambled here as he almost always does. He tries to tell a story that takes forever to make a clear point. And his delivery is artificial and contrived so I can’t really buy it. You want to buy it going in then the execution makes it seem like a half baked chicken pot pie. So it doesn’t get the oomph at the meat of the matter because he’s straining to find the right words and come to a succinct point.
There’s a lot of people who praised Cody’s promo work here but I doubt they’re really listening to the words nor the audience reacting to everything. The raw truth is that Cody is not a great promo; he’s definitely not a real natural as a baby face promo because his diction goes over the average person’s head. He’s kinda like Sting where he’s got enough of the fire and basic ideas but there’s a huge gap missing and he requires the extra aid of a pure villain to wrap his head around why he needs to hate on someone.
Compare this promo to CM Punk’s promo. CM Punk sounded like he was pissed on behalf of Cody without mentioning Cody’s name. He didn’t hold back on key points that assailed the Rock’s fakeness character and Cena selling out. He used some hefty words that might hurt new school kiddies’ feelings but went all in to really sell his upcoming match against Seth Rollins. I mean, I came out of that promo wanting to see the cage match before the brawl started. So whatever Cody needs to do to sell his match, he better do it quickly because it’s not hot because of him.
Miz and Carmelo Hayes Backstage Segment
Miz is goofy and Carmelo is super bland. Randy comes out to try to appeal to the geek crowd in throwing out Elden Ring to silence (yeah fuck that game! But at least he didn’t say Diablo 4) and gets setup for a match against Hayes next week. Oh joy.
Drew McIntyre vs. Jimmy Uso
Didn’t they just have this match a few weeks ago with Jimmy winning? Don’t these wrestlers get to face a larger variety of opponents ever? I feel like I’m watching the same shit week after week. Anyway, short enough match with Drew getting his win back, making me wonder why Drew lost at all to Jimmy in the first place. Then it’s Priest’s turn to attack Drew and I feel sorry for Drew. Can’t these people think of something else besides constant run ins?
Shinsuke Nakamura Video
Shinsuke hypes his US title match against LA Knight. I didn’t bother to watch this crap. Same thing with the DIY backstage garbage. I want to get to the last part of the show asap.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. LA Knight for the US Title
Match was okay I just didn’t care by this point. Shinsuke has lost interest for me since getting this wretched gimmick. I liked him much better when he first arrived. Fortunately, LA Knight won and from what I’ve read Shinsuke had that US title mostly because of something with NJPW and other wrestling politics. But it seemed pointless kinda like Iyo Sky beating Rhea Ripley. I don’t mind LA Knight as a performer in this spot but I have no idea what they plan for him because he’s been in forever feuds with the same people. I think he should be feuding with Solo Sikoa or Jacob Fatu so that Jacob gets his first major title. Or at least, have LA Knight start with Solo so he builds street cred before an eventual match against Jacob.
Final Thoughts
This show wasn’t as wretched as the previous week’s show. There were a few key moments to watch. The tag division just blows chunks in the WWE and I wish they’d get better teams overall. I continue to be apathetic towards the people the WWE want me to like or be interested in while others I get pleasantly surprised (namely Bianca/Naomi/Jade and Piper).
But the one thing that is killing me slowly are the unending infomercial style of recaps. I’ve stated just how much I detest the unholy reaction video garbage and I will fast forward that shit every single time because it’s the absolute lowest denominator of filler crap one can find. I cannot stand re-watching Cena do is turn with the Rock for the one billionth time within a show because Cena is out filming but the WWE needs to remind everyone that Cena is now a bad guy. Same thing with the Rock. This is the type of shit that made me switch over to Nitro WCW despite my deep hatred of Hogan after he infected WCW from 94 – mid 96 with the Dungeon of Doom garbage. But if it weren’t for these painful recaps, these shows might move faster along with cutting down the match lengths so they fit into a single segment and having more people and more variety of matches.