AEW Dynamite was broadcast from the DCU Center in Worcester, MA. After last week’s fiasco of a show, the announcement of Bryan Danielson’s return felt like a warm welcome but my expectations in general for the AEW product has been pretty low. Quite honestly, I’m far more interested in the coming months of the WWE now that Vince McMahon has “retired” just to see if there actually will be significant changes with HHH and Stephanie McMahon in charge. That said, I figured with my novel now done (though not edited), I would start reviewing Dynamite here and there if there was something significant for me to say.
Jon Moxley Vs. Rush
This match was for the interim AEW World title and I had to wonder how and why Rush got a title shot. He’s not ranked, he barely has done anything in AEW so the situation made no sense to me. I mean, if you look at the AEW’s official rankings Rush does not appear anywhere. But I guess they needed to feed Moxley and Tony Khan is too cheap to put on matches that are interesting with real stars on TV so we got this mess. It’s the usual Moxley affair, jump start by Rush, they go to the outside, Moxley bleeds for no reason and Rush actually licks the blood and smears it on himself. Ick. That made me cringe. In fact, I already was tempted to skip everything but truth be told, I was probably playing Clash of Clans while keeping Dynamite in the background.
Anyway, Moxley wins somehow and Chris Jericho comes out to challenge Moxley for the AEW World Interim Title in two weeks. Jericho also brings out Anna Jay who now is part of the Jericho Jack Ass Society. If this were the WWE with HHH in charge, I actually might be somewhat excited, not for the dumb Anna Jay emotionless, meaningless turn, but the fact that Jericho is getting a rematch against Moxley. If this was 4 years ago, maybe this match could even be decent. But Jericho has gotten really bad over time and Moxley just is unbearable. It’s going to be goofy but the only positive I can say about that situation is that I honestly don’t know who will win that match. Logically speaking, Moxley should win because I anticipate Moxley and CM Punk eventually battling each other (although it should be Bryan Danielson). Nonetheless, Jericho has been on a tear as of late in terms of tearing any sense of logic apart for his benefit so there’s a chance that he might win so that CM Punk can have a match against him.
At any rate, this won’t be as bad as Hogan vs Piper in the infamous Halloween Havoc ’97 Age in a Cage match. But I think it’s going to be a stinker, despite Moxley wanting the “Lionheart” version of Jericho. Sorry Mox, but that version of Jericho is long dead. He can’t do the old cruiserweight moves no more so he has to rely on garbage matches.
Backstage Interview with Dante Martin
Schiavone interviews Dante and again my focus is on Clash of Clans more than AEW. I guess the big thing is that he’s facing Sammy Guevara later so he knows that Tay Conti will do something to interfere. As a result, Dante chooses none other than…..Skye Blue to second him. I swear to god the audience just collectively either went to sleep or groaned for this anti-climatic announcement. But you know about Tony Khan, he has that young person fetish so he tries to put the undeserving on TV that no one wants to see thinking he’s got the next Rock when he’s only got the next Gilberg. Oh wait, even Gilberg was over when they had him go out. The difference is that the WWF knew not to push Gilberg and that he had a very specific role to play whereas Tony Khan can’t figure that part out.
Ricky Starks Vs. Danhausen (for the FTW title)
And here’s why I’m saying that. So for whatever reason, Danhausen decided to challenge for the FTW title. Luckily, this match didn’t last long but it still lasted far longer than it should’ve been which was that it went on. Having Ricky appear is great but Danhausen is a joke, people know he’s a joke and the only place he would fit in for any kind of title would be the 24/7 WWE title because that’s his limit.
Starks issues another challenge because he did have Danhausen job out like he should have. So out of nowhere comes Hook. People are really behind Hook and I don’t get it. Taz is jizzing for his son but it feels like he forgot that Starks is part of Team Taz. What the hell? Hook gets Starks to tap for his first title and Starks fist bumps Hook because this was a sign of the student getting one over the teacher.
Then Starks gets some mic time and talks a bit with Schiavone in the ring and talks about failure, etc. starts getting a babyface cheer going then gets sidelined by Hobbs. I know they vaguely teased one of these two turning but really? When I heard this I honestly wanted to never watch another AEW show ever again. All of this feels like Vince Russo booking. It’s awful, inconsistent and I honestly am rooting hardcore for HHH to kick the living pants out of AEW at this point. I mean why should this have happened this soon and in this manner? Ricky is the one that lost. It wasn’t even a tag match. It’s just stupid and I honestly believe that these shows are booked based on a prototype game that they’re developing where they’re using some poorly designed AI to create the outcomes because this is by far the worst booking I’ve seen in years. It’s the same crap that turned me off of TNA, the WWE between 98-99 and WCW once Russo came in.
Dante Martin Vs. Sammy Guevara
This match almost made sense not because of the flow but because of two similar guys at almost similar levels of where they need to exist on the card. The problem is that neither guy has the mental aspects of wrestling so the flow just sucks. Skye Blue was a prop waiting to be destroyed after the heels started to beat down on Dante. I believe Anna Jay came into blindside Skye Blue because she’s just a prop. Then the cavalry came in with Ruby Soho, Eddie Kingston and Ortiz. I think Ruby must be helping Skye Blue at this stage and that she’s going to be the one getting Anna Jay over because Anna Jay is terrible. Sorry, but this whole thing stinks.
Daniel Garcia Backstage Interview
This guy has the personality of poop that hadn’t been flushed down a toilet in a stall at the mall that’s probably clogging up the drain and soon to be hardening into a cake-like ring. Basically, hard skip for me.
Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus Interview
Schiavone somehow is in the ring again to interview Jungle Boy. Jungle Boy calls Christian a pussy on TV. He actually said that in a manner that almost made him sound like a man. So he got a reaction for that because people have very low IQs and enjoy bathroom humor and foul language because most people are low class. I personally laughed at Jungle Boy because of how Tony Khan allowed him to get away with a ton of cursing on Discovery TV. There’s a lot of other cheap digs and Jungle Boy eventually reverts to his monotone voice and rambles until Christian makes an appearance that takes him sometime to realize before reacting.
Again, Christian is great. He manages to salvage this segment which kept rambling and we all know what will happen when it happens. The best part was Christian telling Luchasaurus the truth about where he was going to take him whereas Jungle Boy explains that Luchasaurus is his best friend. So why did Luchasaurus even bother turning in the first place? Honestly, if it wasn’t for Christian, this segment would’ve been a complete disaster. Yes, Jungle Boy got some witty remarks in that even got the proper reaction from the crowd but you could tell he was given the lines from Christian and completely uncomfortable trying to get emotionally invested especially where he talks (boringly) about his father and burying him.
The Bucks Backstage
I barely paid any attention here. All I know is that I saw Adam Page eventually come out, the usual Job World Order idiots goofing off and I really didn’t care. Next.
Tony Nese / Swerve Strickland
Here we go with another unending feud. I’m guessing that Tony Nese and Swerve enjoy working with each other and have their circus act down. But I have no interest and Sterling is there so I have even less emotional investment in these people. There was a bizarre Keith Lee being stricken down by Josh Woods. It really looked like Keith Lee taking a nap and Woods just happening to see him. But anything trying to justify more TV time for Sterling makes me fast forward faster.
House of Black Vignette
Malakai tries to sound intelligent about society, people, religion, etc. but as per his usual, it goes over everyone’s heads because people have low IQs as demonstrated by Jungle Boy’s cursing. But for whatever reason Brody decides to have a coffin match with Darby. What? Why? I will say that I like Malakai Black when he streams. He seems like a cool dude to hang out with. But creative-wise, it’s just…argh…
They could’ve had the easiest angle ever. A Satanist vs a God worshiping religious guy. Are these people that blind about seeing the obvious? Why is this so fucking hard to do?
Thunder Rosa Vs. Miyu Yamashita
This was for the AEW women’s world title. For whatever reason Yamashita got a pinfall victory in Japan over Rosa so she wanted a title match in America as a result. Let’s face it. Tony Khan should just dump the whole ranking system from the webpage. It’ll be better off for everyone. That way anyone can challenge anyone else for no good reason except when it’s convenient. But obviously, being ranked has no meaning in AEW unless it fits their narrative.
As for the match, I have to admit that I’ve never seen Miyu Yamashita. They kept talking about her karate background but I’ve never really been interested in karate for kicks. Always thought Taekwondo was far better at this aspect like with guys such as Hwang Jang-Lee or Dorian Tan (btw, I went on a long digression just to find some of these people’s names). Yamashita had okay kicks but she looked off. Couldn’t tell if it was the ring or jetlag, etc. Match never really picked up for me. Rosa beat Yamashita with her Thunderfire Pile Driver and they shook hands out of respect. Crowd really didn’t care much about this match because no one knew who Yamashita was.
Side note. Apparently, Kenny Omega flipped out about the way Yamashita was treated. If people are irate that your booking of the women’s division has been utter trash, it’s not because of the talent but because of how they are being presented. You can’t just toss people on TV and expect everyone to suddenly worship them because they’ve made a name for themselves elsewhere on a far smaller scale. These people have virtually no builds and you expect the fans to watch and know about everything. But even as someone who has supported women’s wrestling, especially joshi puroresu in the past, I simply don’t have the time to care enough to figure out why I should care. You have to make me care and I’m not going to automatically become a convert because you masturbate to their softcore pr0n books.
Bryan Danielson Vs. Daniel Garcia
I was somewhat intrigued by this match more because it was Danielson’s return bout. I really don’t care much for Garcia as weeks continue to pass and he gets some of the best match slots along with Wheeler Yuta. But that ending was anti-climatic. Right now, when I watch Daniel Garcia, I feel like I’m watching Eric Watts all over again and this match almost felt like poor Arn Anderson getting the STF put on him at a gas station. I know they’re trying to make stars but you can’t force people that no one cares about down the audience’s throats. That becomes more of a turn off especially when you telegraph it by having a cold match without reason and a random, meaningless win. And right now, every week that I see this guy, who has done nothing to stimulate my interest, I just want to fast forward through everything. But I do enjoy watching Danielson and it’s obvious that he’s training the kid on TV. Man, I really hope you’re getting a nice paycheck Bryan because by the time your contract ends with AEW, you’ll have anything left that’s exciting squeezed out of you just in time to have your last legs be torn apart in the WWE.
Final Thoughts
Bland show for me. Just the usual Tony Khan booked crap. I’ve basically written AEW off and will tune in when I’m absolutely bored. I’m far more interested in the WWE with Vince gone and HHH/Stephanie in charge. Right now, I want HHH to pulverize AEW and just show what he’s capable of, hoping that Vince is really out of the picture, even though I have my doubts still. But give me the old NXT where people got over and it was exciting. Maybe Tony Khan will finally remove the Bucks and Omega’s collective fingers out of Tony’s bunghole so that he can get out of his own way and hire a proper booker and promoter to run the wrestling side.
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